


Food for Thought

by UmbreonGurl



Category: League of Legends
Genre: Akali is whipped as hell for her gf, Alternate Universe - K/DA (League of Legends), Cooking, Domestic Fluff, F/F, no beta we die like your inting teammates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:53:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27332983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UmbreonGurl/pseuds/UmbreonGurl
Summary: Akali tries to cook. All things considered, it goes pretty well for someone who has absolutely no idea what they're doing.
Relationships: Akali/Evelynn (League of Legends)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 261





	Food for Thought

Akali knows from experience that Evelynn can have a bit of a one-track mind. Once she gets going on something, she doesn’t stop, not for anything or anyone. (For real—Akali’s tried.) This often means there’s more than a few days where Evelynn stays holed-up in her office into the late hours of the night—or sometimes even up through the morning, if necessary.

Unfortunately, tonight seems like it’s probably going to be one of them. Eve hasn’t responded to her texts, she isn’t in her garage, and Akali knows for a fact that she should be somewhere in the house right now. By process of elimination, Akali comes to the conclusion that she’s likely in her office.

The house is quiet. With Ahri off doing something for her cosmetics and Kai’Sa out on a date with her new girlfriend, Akali can easily hear the faint creak of the hardwood under her feet as she makes her way upstairs.

Evelynn’s office isn’t far from the top of the stairs, and the light pouring out from underneath the door easily confirms Akali’s earlier suspicions. The doctor is most definitely _in_ tonight—for the third night in a row, too.

Akali frowns, before lightly knocking at the door. 

No response. 

She tries again, this time a bit louder. 

Still no response.

“Hey Eve?” Akali calls. “You in there?” 

When she’s yet again met with silence, she gently, slowly, opens the door. The sight she’s met with upon doing so makes her stomach twist.

Evelynn looks tired. It’s not surprising, considering she had recently pulled two all-nighters, but even given that, she looks decidedly not up to her usual self. 

The bags under her eyes are dark even when buried under a mountain of makeup, and her skin is pale, bordering on ashen gray. Her lashers are lethargic as they move paperwork to and fro like extra limbs, signing her name immaculately on the bottoms of some, folding up others, and neatly piling them up.

Evelynn is a mountain, unmovable, unstoppable, _giant—_ but even she will crumble under enough pressure.

Akali makes her way behind the desk, and Evelynn’s lashers quickly move out of the way to let Akali lean down and wrap her arms around her shoulders. 

“Hey.” 

A breath in, and the smell of motor oil and expensive perfume is overwhelming, but comforting.

Evelynn lifts a hand from her keyboard to pat at the arm around her neck affectionately. She doesn’t even need to look up to know who it is.

“Hello, darling. How are you?”

Just as quickly as it came, Evelynn’s touch retreats from Akali’s skin and returns to her laptop like it had never left.

“I’m fine—but forget about me, I should be asking _you_ that.” Akali pouts. “Are you working late again tonight?”

“It seems likely, yes.” Evelynn dodges the implied question with practiced ease. 

Akali doesn’t respond with words, but Evelynn reads the slight way her posture shifts like an open book. 

“Don’t you worry, dear, I’ll be fine.” Another pat at her arm. “I know my limits.”

“I know,” Akali huffs, “but that still doesn’t mean you don’t deserve a break every once in a while.” 

“And I’ll get one after I finish,” Evelynn says, quickly shutting Akali down. “Good things come to those who wait. Patience is key.”

“Are you sure I can’t help with anything?” It’s a futile question more than anything, (Akali knows she doesn’t really have the experience to handle much of the nitty-gritty stuff and Evelynn already has all the proverbial hands she needs for the job) but it doesn’t stop her from offering anyways.

“Unfortunately not.”

“Fine.” Akali knows Evelynn well enough to know this is a fight she won’t be winning. “Tomorrow though, it’s break time. No more all-nighters.”

“No more all-nighters,” Evelynn agrees. “Tomorrow, I’m all yours, Akali dear.”

At that, Akali perks up. “Really?”

“Really,” Evelynn confirms. “If anything urgently needs to be done tomorrow, I’ll make Ahri deal with it. I know for a fact she’ll be free tomorrow evening.”

“Sweet.” Pressing a quick kiss on Evelynn’s cheek, Akali gets up and starts heading towards the door. “I’ll leave you be, then.”

“Mmm.”

Evelynn’s always been a planner. Right on the wall of her office hangs a small whiteboard, on it a to-do list written in black dry-erase marker in familiar, loopy handwriting. It’s always well-kept, but something about today’s to-do list catches Akali’s eye on her way out.

There—right below all the usual garbage, circled several times in big, bold letters, it reads: _get food._

An idea very quickly forms in Akali’s head. If Eve won’t let her help with the paperwork, she’ll simply have to find a way to help with something else. 

She can’t say she knows how to cook all that well, but Kai’Sa does it all the time; surely some of her skills must have rubbed off on her by now. And if they didn’t, it shouldn’t be too hard to figure out, right?

Akali shuts Evelynn’s office door behind her with a smile.

_Oh yeah. This is gonna be great._

It does not, in fact, go great.

* * *

By the time Kai’Sa gets home, the kitchen looks like a grenade went off smack dab in the middle of it. Pots and pans litter the stove, there’s burnt remnants of _something_ on several of the many plates scattered about, and the oven is smoking. Heavily. (If it weren’t for the several open windows and a stove vent running on full blast, Akali is pretty sure the fire alarm would have gone off a long time ago.)

Kai’Sa almost looks like she’s going to have a heart attack at the sight of it all.

“Akali,” she says, voice deceptively calm. “What, exactly, did you do?”

“I cooked.” Akali shrugs, leaning back on the counter. “It didn’t go as planned.”

“Yes, I can tell that much.” Kai’Sa brings a hand up to pinch at the bridge of her nose. “And what was your plan, exactly?”

“Didn’t really have one. I was going to figure stuff out as I went along.”

“Cooking doesn't work like that.” Kai’Sa sighs, and Akali can’t quite tell whether it’s out of anger or disappointment.

“Yeah, I kinda figured that out, Kai.” Akali wasn’t sure before, but Kai’Sa definitely looks a little mad now. “I asked for your help, not for you to judge me seven ways to Sunday.”

“It’s hard not to.” Kai’Sa looks around at the mess in horrified awe. “It looks as if you almost burned the kitchen down.”

“And?” Akali gives Kai’Sa an unimpressed look. “That’s why I’m asking for your help now that you’re home. I’m not stopping now; Master Shen didn’t raise a quitter.”

“That’s exactly the problem. You never know when you _should_ quit.” Kai’Sa shakes her head, a sliver of a fond smile creeping onto her face despite herself. “Next time, please just call up Shurima Pizza instead of…” Kai’Sa gestures around the kitchen. “...whatever this is supposed to be. I don’t even know how—”

Akali cuts in. “It was supposed to be homemade chicken and noodles. I was gonna—”

Kai’sa glares, grabbing a plate of burnt food and holding it up for Akali to examine. “I don’t _care_ what it was supposed to be, Akali, this is clearly not it! Call for pizza next time.”

Okay, wow, she’s definitely mad. 

“First of all, I didn’t want pizza. Still don’t.” Akali puts a single finger in the air, and then slowly adds a second before raising her eyebrows. “Second of all, you know _damn well_ Sivir wouldn’t have picked up the phone if I had called.” 

“She doesn’t need to! Sivir isn’t there every hour of every day; she has employees, Akali, someone would have picked up.”

“Irrelevant. I didn’t want pizza, or any other kind of takeout for that matter. There’s no love in store-bought food, and I’m trying to be romantic here.”

Kai’sa’s fingers twitch slightly inwards. “It’s not exactly romantic to trash the kitchen, you know.”

“Well it’s already trashed, so will you help me clean it up and possibly salvage something, please? I’ll do you a favor in return, whatever you want—I don’t even care anymore, man.” At this point, Akali is sure that she is probably groveling, but she doesn’t care. “Just _please,_ Kai’Sa, for the love of god, shut up and help me here.”

Kai’Sa takes a few moments to think it over and takes a deep breath. 

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just tell me to shut up and instead focus on the fact that you’ll be owing me bigtime for this—and I mean _bigtime._ ” Kai’Sa glances at the clock. “I’m tired, so let’s make this quick. You said you were trying to make homemade noodles, right?”

A nod.

Kai’Sa surveys the kitchen like a hunter looking for prey. “Are there any pots left that you didn’t butcher? We’re going to need at least one.”

Akali brings a hand to her chin. “I think there’s a few, yeah.”

“Thank god.” Kai’Sa starts digging through the cabinets. “Go grab a few instant noodle packages from your stash. I’m too exhausted right now to do anything too crazy, but we can spice them up with some fresh toppings and a softboiled egg or two.”

“But then it’s not homemade,” Akali protests. “And my stash is already running low right now, too.”

Kai’Sa turns back with a glare that is positively murderous _._ For someone who is normally soft-spoken, she can be downright scary when she’s angry.

“Do you want my help or not?”

Akali backpedals. “Yes ma’am. Sorry, I’ll get right on that.”

With a mock salute, Akali gets to work, but not before stopping on her way out of the kitchen.

“I still think we should have done fully homemade, though,” she calls over her shoulder.

It is only thanks to years of training that Akali manages to dodge the spatula that is promptly thrown her way.

* * *

Kai’Sa heads to bed as soon as the food’s done. Akali highly suspects that she’s actually going to be laying in bed texting Sivir instead of sleeping, but that’s not really any of her business—she has food to deliver.

Trying to get the two bowls of noodles up the stairs without spilling anything is a balancing act, but one Akali hopes will be worthwhile.

(No—not hopes, _knows._ Evelynn is going to love it, and she’s going to smile in that way that sends Akali weak in the knees and they’ll eat (an admittedly late) dinner together, and it’ll be romantic as fuck.)

This time, Akali doesn’t knock. 

“Yo, Eve, I brought food!”

Using her shoulder to nudge the door open, Akali makes her way into Evelynn’s office with the confidence of a chef presenting a Michelin-starred meal.

Evelynn glances up, raising her eyebrows slightly. Her surprise is made obvious at the way her lashers stop moving for a brief moment. 

“I know you never ate dinner, so I whipped a little something up for you.” This isn’t entirely true—Kai’Sa did most of the legwork on the cooking—but a little white lie never hurt anyone. It’s the thought that counts anyways. “And me. I, uh… figured we could eat dinner together.”

“Of course we can. What a pleasant surprise.”

Akali internally pats herself on the back as she watches Evelynn shut her laptop and set it aside to make room for the food on her desk. And then Evelynn looks up and smiles at her, and every coherent thought she might have had flies right out the window. 

It takes all of Akali’s self-control not to drop the bowl in her hand right then and there, and it’s honestly a miracle she’s able to set it down without any broth spilling or the chopsticks neatly piled on the rim falling off.

Lashers quickly move paperwork to the floor, and a space is cleared for Akali to sit on the opposite side of the desk. Akali sets her own bowl down and takes a seat. Her leg starts practically vibrating as soon as her butt hits the chair.

“It’s unusual for you to cook.” Evelynn’s gaze is, as usual, unreadable. “Was there something that brought this on?” 

Akali shrugs. “I saw getting dinner was on your to-do list, so I figured I’d help out a bit. Why?”

At that, Evelynn laughs. Not a chuckle, not a smile, but full-on _laughs._ The mere sound of it is so unfamiliar that it make’s Akali’s pulse race in her ears.

_Oh god, does she not like it? She probably hates it. Shit. Nice going, Akali, she thinks you’re stupid. Real smooth._

Akali waits for the other shoe to drop, but it never does.

“You’re sweet,” Evelynn says, instead.

“Thanks?” Akali replies, confused. “I, uh… don’t really get what’s so funny, though.”

Evelynn takes a bite of her food before setting her chopsticks neatly back on the rim of the bowl.

“I can’t say I don’t appreciate the sentiment, but I’m afraid this wasn’t what I meant when I wrote “get food” on my agenda.”

“Huh?” If Evelynn didn’t mean dinner, then what the hell did she mean? They’d made a grocery run just the other day, so the fridge is pretty well stocked—or well it _was,_ before earlier—so that can’t be it. Unless— “Oh. _Oh._ Oh my god, Eve, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. This is nice.” A small shake of her head—and _oh lord_ , there’s that smile again. “You were correct in that I never ate dinner. I’d have to be a fool to turn down Kai’Sa’s cooking.”

_Busted._

Akali freezes. “What do you mean?”

“She made this, did she not?” Evelynn raises an eyebrow. “You did try quite hard, though. I could smell the smoke from my office.”

“You mean you _knew?”_

Evelynn closes her eyes as she grabs her chopsticks and takes another bite of her food. “Of course. You weren’t exactly subtle, Akali dear.”

Akali swears her cheeks must be on fire right now. “If you knew, then why didn’t you stop me?”

“It was cute and I was busy.” Evelynn hums, before locking eyes with Akali. “Besides, if I had stopped you, you wouldn’t be sitting here having dinner with me, would you?”

“I…” Akali pauses for a moment to let her mouth catch up with her brain. “Probably not, no.” She wants to say more, but she can’t seem to find the words.

“Exactly.” Evelynn leans in and rests her head on her free hand. “I’d suggest you eat up, darling. Your food will get cold.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hc Kai'Sa as being the type of chick who rarely gets mad but when she does it's downright scary. 
> 
> Akali acts all tough, but once you get to know her she's a dumbass at heart and Evelynn is a moronsexual. That is all. Goodbye.
> 
> For snippets, updates on what I'm working on, and a shit ton of art retweets, feel free to check out my [twitter.](https://twitter.com/UmbreonGurl)


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